Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
