The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
