yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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