there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
