she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
is it fun? or sober?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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