Im at strip club and am horny
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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