I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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