He had one of those small greek statue penises
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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