I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
