Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
