More tranny stories later!
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
