TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Randomize
