His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
