I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
