I'm drive I can fine osifer
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
