There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
