Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
operation have a gay friend backfired
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
