So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
