Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
