And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
