Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
