I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Damn victory sex feels great
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