3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
