elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If I die, sorry about rent.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
