Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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