guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
