Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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