The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
