I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
