i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
