I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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