Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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