Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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