There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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