We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just found puke in my bra..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
