Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
