im drinking this country out of the recession.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
