Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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