I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i think my tv is drunk
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
