i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
