We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She's the barista slut.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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