Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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