Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
