they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I didn't shave. On purpose
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
