I need help removing her.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
