Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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