So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
