this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
