He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
