You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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